Sunday, July 31, 2005

Luke's Rules of Relationships

Here's what it takes for me to be happy:

1. The person I'm with has to be "more screwed up than me," at least in some way. I think that's probably the reason I want to go into psychiatry, sadly enough. I don't like being around people who are happier than I am; they make me uncomfortable. From the time I was a little kid, I have always measured myself against other people. While growing up, I strived to be "the best," and I ultimately succeeded - at least academically, graduating valedictorian of my senior class. It's a challenge to my ego structure, therefore, if you're "more successful" in your emotional life than I am. I need to be the fixer, not the fixee.

2. That said, you can't bore me. I will not settle for uninteresting people who are not passionate about life. You must see deeper meaning in your existence than what is involved in your day-to-day routine.

3. You must inspire me to improve as a human being. If I can't look at you as "my muse," it will not work.

4. You can't be crazy-in-love with me. People who give off this air of neediness almost always make me balk. I am not the best thing since sliced bread.

5. On the converse, do not play games with me. Ladder Theory is essentially correct.

6. I like to think I'm relatively patient and understanding, but the fewer "WTF?" moments, the better. It's better to be honest and straightforward than to leave me feeling flabbergasted.

7. I used to think this was less important, but I have come to the conclusion that you must share the same values as I do. My beliefs are very important to who I am. I love debating people, but I hate going in endless circles. If your ideas are antithetical to mine, chances are things won't work out between us. If you're apathetic/indifferent, that's even worse.

8. In case it isn't obvious, you've got to be intelligent, kind, open, and honest. It helps if you're an optimist; I need to see that you've got "spirit."

9. There must be a mutual "spark of attraction." Maybe I'm superficial, but if there isn't some sort of physical chemistry, then Mission Control, we have a problem.

10. It is vital/essential/fundamental that most of these things go both ways. If I can't fulfill your needs, you won't be able to fulfill mine. Simple as that.

1 Comments:

At 9:16 PM, Anonymous Sammers said...

1. The person I'm with has to be "more screwed up than me," at least in some way. I think that's probably the reason I want to go into psychiatry, sadly enough. I don't like being around people who are happier than I am; they make me uncomfortable. From the time I was a little kid, I have always measured myself against other people. While growing up, I strived to be "the best," and I ultimately succeeded - at least academically, graduating valedictorian of my senior class. It's a challenge to my ego structure, therefore, if you're "more successful" in your emotional life than I am. I need to be the fixer, not the fixee.
i completely see this in you. You are definitely the 'rock'.

2. That said, you can't bore me. I will not settle for uninteresting people who are not passionate about life. You must see deeper meaning in your existence than what is involved in your day-to-day routine. Anyone who can date someone boring deserves to be punched. Simple.

3. You must inspire me to improve as a human being. If I can't look at you as "my muse," it will not work. Nicely put! I like this one.

4. You can't be crazy-in-love with me. People who give off this air of neediness almost always make me balk. I am not the best thing since sliced bread. When you are in the first stages of a relationship, i think this is un-avoidable. but i think there has to be a level of respect, not just "OMG you are so amazing blah blah blah"

5. On the converse, do not play games with me. Ladder Theory is essentially correct. This one i did not see coming from you lol! I dont even know what to say about it.

6. I like to think I'm relatively patient and understanding, but the fewer "WTF?" moments, the better. It's better to be honest and straightforward than to leave me feeling flabbergasted. LOL

7. I used to think this was less important, but I have come to the conclusion that you must share the same values as I do. My beliefs are very important to who I am. I love debating people, but I hate going in endless circles. If your ideas are antithetical to mine, chances are things won't work out between us. If you're apathetic/indifferent, that's even worse. SO TRUE. Even the smallest differences, at the beginning - may seem trivial, but they grow into big things the longer the relationship lasts.

8. In case it isn't obvious, you've got to be intelligent, kind, open, and honest. It helps if you're an optimist; I need to see that you've got "spirit." These are all qualities and are amazing :)

9. There must be a mutual "spark of attraction." Maybe I'm superficial, but if there isn't some sort of physical chemistry, then Mission Control, we have a problem. not superficial at all! You have to be physically attracted to the other person - and you already mentioned the ladder theory - this goes along with it, whether we agree with it or not, physical attraction is one of the first things to be established.

10. It is vital/essential/fundamental that most of these things go both ways. If I can't fulfill your needs, you won't be able to fulfill mine. Simple as that. VERY TRUE. Just because someone may seem perfect for you, does not mean it will work. You two have to be able to fit together well!

Nice Ones, Luke!

 

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