Saturday, June 04, 2005

The Wal-Mart Story

MENTALLY INCONTINENT - Believe it or not, the interview process for Wal-Mart was pretty goddamned thorough, especially considering the job paid 6 dollars an hour and entailed wearing a blue schmock, cleaning up after dullards and answering, for the 100th time in an hour, the exact same questions that should be common sense. I cannot count the number of times this exact exchange would take place on a given day:

Customer:
“Excuse me, do you have a Toy Department?”

What I was thinking:
"What??? Do we have a TOY DEPARTMENT??? What the hell kind of question is that! This is WAL-MART, flapjack. The toy department is only the biggest department in this store! Does that extra chromosome impair your vision, too? Can you not see the gigantic blue and yellow sign hanging up when you walk in the door that says 'TOYS'?!?"

What I actually said:
"Yeah, it's down there."

No, I wasn't at ALL bitter....

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