Thursday, March 31, 2005

OMGHI2U!

NY POST - A New Jersey father discovered to his horror [that] his 16-year-old daughter rang up a whopping $1,058 cell phone bill. The bill covered a month and a half, was more than 200 pages long and listed more than 12,000 text messages, said John Taylor of Oaklyn.

His daughter Ashley had sent and received almost all those messages while she was in school, where students are supposed to stow their cell phones in their lockers before classes start. Ashley, a junior at Gloucester City HS, "no longer has a cell phone," said Taylor, who now knows why his daughter has been failing math and social studies...

Her cellphone bill showed messages sent "at 8:01, 8:02, 8:03, 8:04 — all the way through to 3 p.m. on some days," he said.

Quote of the Day

"When the fervor of political passions moves the executive and legislative branches to act in ways inimical to basic constitutional principles, it is the duty of the judiciary to intervene. If sacrifices to the independence of the judiciary are permitted today, precedent is established for the constitutional transgressions of tomorrow." - Federal judge Stanley F. Birch Jr in the Schiavo case

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

From The Only Mr. J....

Top ten ways to tell if someone procrastinates:

10.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Oddities of the World

shared with me by Jodi.

phreeque.com

Hensel Sisters

And my favorite passage from the site, describing "Hopp, the Frog Boy":

Parks, who could not walk and used a wheelchair, married a midget woman called "Princess Wee Wee" (though not the famous Black midget lady of the same name).

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Irony

AP - State carpenters and painters spent more than 50 hours building an elaborate prop for Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to use to promote his plan to curb state spending, a practice the head of a public watchdog group denounced as a waste of government resources.

Schwarzenegger appeared in front of a 25-foot model of the Capitol at the state fairgrounds in Sacramento last month to turn a spigot and shut off the flow of red ink he said symbolizes state spending.

"You're wasting government resources to highlight the waste of government resources," said Larry Noble, executive director of the Center for Responsive Politics in Washington.

School Bans 'Wrong Race' Hairstyle

MANCHESTER NEWS, UK - A teenager was sent home from school after the headteacher ruled she was the wrong race to have a braided hairstyle. Olivia Acton, 13, was told she could not join her classmates at Middleton Technology College because her tightly plaited hair was too "extreme" for the strict uniform policy. However, two other pupils at the school who have an Afro-Caribbean background are allowed to attend the school with similar hairstyles because it reflects their cultural heritage. The teenager usually has her hair brushed straight but had it braided during a family holiday. She was stunned to be turned away when she returned to school. She was told she can only go back to the classroom if she unpicks the plaits.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Men Swipe House, Brick by Brick

AP - When Smith County Constable Dennis Taylor got a call reporting a stolen house, his first question was, "Is it a trailer house, ma'am?" "No, it's a brick house," the real estate company representative replied. Board by board, shingle by shingle, for nearly three months, thieves dismantled a three-bedroom brick house in this East Texas town and carted it away until only a pile of rubble was left. Authorities allege Brandon Ray Parmer, 29, and Darrell Patrick Maxfield, 44, both of Tyler, took the house apart and sold it for drugs, in plain view of everyone cruising by along Lindale's main street. . . "It's the strangest case I've ever worked in my life," Taylor said. "Everybody drove by and waved at them."

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Puzzle-Piece Theory

HFOJVT - People seem to hook together like puzzle-pieces, starting at an early age. When a friendship or romantic relationship ends, it creates a hole in each partner's life. Other people come along who more or less fit into that hole. People... who have had no long-term romantic relationships do not have any holes, so others kinda bounce off. They cannot find a place where they fit, perhaps they do not feel wanted and/or needed. So they bounce away, just like a rubber ball.

True Dat

"Senate Republicans are so committed to keeping this women alive that as a last ditch tactic today they subpoenaed her because it is a federal crime to harm someone who is called to testify before Congress. They said they didn't think she'd be a great witness but she had to be better then Mark McGwire." ~ Bill Maher

Monday, March 21, 2005

Better Than Yeti Baseball

What's Your High Score?

Indicators

from the Progressive Review

42% OF TAX DOLLARS GO TO WAR: Tax day is April 15. Did you know that about 42% of our income taxes this year will go for military purposes. This figure is computed based on federal funds outlays in fiscal year 2004 of $1.7 trillion. The federal funds budget includes spending for all discretionary programs (for which Congress appropriates funds each year) and for all mandatory programs such as Medicaid, food stamps, Earned Income Tax Credit, and other needs-based programs (which are paid for out of general revenues). The federal funds budget does not include spending by trust funds such as Social Security and Medicare, as these are paid for through separate, dedicated payroll taxes--not income taxes. [Friends Committee on National Legislation]

AN NBC NEWS POLL finds that 57% of Americans believe in the Biblical account of creation as opposed to only 33% who believe in the scientific explanation of evolution. 44% believe the world was created in six days.

ACCORDING TO THE LATEST NEWSWEEK POLL, 59% of Americans disapprove of how George Bush is handling Social Security. Only 33% approve.

Bacteria that Make You More Kissable

BBC - Sugarless yoghurt could help beat bad breath, tooth decay and gum disease, say scientists. Japanese researchers found eating the yoghurt reduced levels of hydrogen sulphide - a major cause of bad breath - in 80% of volunteers. The key are active bacteria in yogurt, specifically Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilus.

How I Waste My Time

Turbo Tanks

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Just Because I Can...

a completely pointless post :p

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Thought for the Day

"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy: that is the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." ~ John Kenneth Galbraith

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Oh, Missouri - How I Love Thee

ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH - A bill that seeks to overhaul Missouri's child abuse reporting laws could require teachers, doctors, nurses and others to report sexually active teenagers and children to the state's abuse hot line... Perhaps the most controversial provision of the bill is one that many say would require educators, medical personnel and other professionals to report "substantial evidence of sexual intercourse by an unmarried minor under the age of consent."

Critics say the language would, in essence, require child abuse reports even of cases of consensual sex between two teens. Byrd claims the bill seeks only to target sex by children under the age of 15... He said sexual activity by children under that age is something that should be reported to the child abuse hot line, regardless of the age of the sexual partner.

Missouri law on age of consent differs by the circumstances. An adult, for example, can be prosecuted for having sex with anyone under the age of 17. "If somebody says to me, what's the age of consent in Missouri, I say it's 17," said Ed Postawko, a sex crimes prosecutor in the St. Louis Circuit Attorney's office...

The bill also could cost the state money by requiring more staff to screen calls to the child abuse hot line. Deb Hendricks, a spokeswoman for the Department of Social Services, said the department has estimated that the bill could cost an extra $269,000 for the current fiscal year.

Monday, March 14, 2005

English Lesson

thanks to theobald....

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct choice should be obvious
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = I'm pissed
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
I'll be ready in a minute = You've got an hour
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

MEN'S:

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
What's wrong? = No sex tonight?
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you so you'll have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

It's All About Perspective

How_to_date_a_white_womanNERVOUS ACID - As pathetic as my love life is — and I'm, like, totally hot — it always helps to know there are bigger losers out there. But just how do you know you're a bigger loser than me? It's hard to say, but I think I've figured it out: Instead of picking up dating tips from romantic comedies or staring at people on MySpace whom you have no intention of e-mailing, you go to Amazon.com and buy books. Books like How To Date A White Woman: A Practical Guide For Asian Men. (Says one excited customer reviewer, "I got this book, man, and, wow, it helped me even though I'm not Asian!") If you act today, Amazon will bundle this title with The Complete Asshole's Guide To Handling Chicks for only $30. Don't ever say I never hooked you up.

Word

"I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves." ~ Harriet Tubman

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Superman is a Dick


Sorry, Keith... I know how you idolize the guy.. but this just ain't right.

Students Borrowing More and More

CRYSTAL PHEND, MUSTANG DAILY, CALIFORNIA POLY STATE U - A record number of college students are borrowing more than $10,000 their first year or expecting that much in family support, according to a recent survey by the University of California, Los Angeles Higher Education Research Institute. Almost 30 percent of the 289,000 freshmen surveyed said they expected more than $10,000 from their families for this academic year. It is the highest percent since the question was first asked in 2001. . .

Public Favors More Spending on Progressive Programs

PAUL WALDMAN, GADFLYER - When Democrats win elections, the press tells us it's because of a charismatic candidate or things like the state of the economy. On the other hand, when Republicans win elections we're told it represents fundamental rightward shifts in American opinion, a deeply conservative electorate voting on its basic beliefs.

Pundits seldom point out that with a couple of exceptions, on nearly any issue you can come up with, the progressive position is the more popular one. Now a fascinating new poll from the University of Maryland's Program on International Policy Attitudes shows just how out of whack the federal budget is with the priorities of the American people - priorities that turn out to be positively Scandinavian.

PIPA employed an unusual technique, in which they presented respondents with a spreadsheet showing 17 areas of the discretionary budget and how much the Bush administration is proposing to spend on them (they included a figure for Iraq, which the administration pretends for budgetary purposes does not exist). Then respondents were told they could adjust these items up or down as they'd like to see the money spent. They were also given the option to put money toward deficit reduction. To make the exercise easier, the budget was converted to total $1,000. . .

Defense spending was cut by an average of 31%. Two-thirds of respondents chose to cut the defense budget.

Funds for Iraq were cut by an average of 35%, again with two-thirds of respondents opting for cuts.

61% of respondents chose to put aside money for deficit reduction.

Education spending was increased by 39%.

Funds for job training were increased by 263%.

Funds for medical research were increased by 53%.

Veterans benefits were increased by 40%.

Funds for conservation and the development of renewable energy were increased by 1090%. That is not a typo. 70% of respondents opted for increases in this area.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Another Thing To Consider, Justin

ROWENA VERGARA, MINNESOTA DAILY - The traditional power hour most new 21-year-olds celebrate could soon come to an end. A new bill introduced in the Minnesota House last week would prohibit 21-year-olds from drinking at midnight on their birthdays. Individuals would have to wait until 8 a.m. instead. The chief author of the bill, Rep. Morrie Lanning, R-Moorhead, said the purpose is to prevent deaths because of excessive drinking of alcohol by young adults.

Perhaps Caroline Knows More Than We Give Her Credit For

MARILYN ELIAS, USA TODAY - Couples in conflict-ridden marriages take longer than the happily married to heal from all kinds of wounds, from minor scrapes or athletic injuries to major surgery, suggests a study out over the weekend. And the health toll taken by a stressful job seems to be eased when the worker has a pleasurable home life. This new research, reported at the American Psychosomatic Society meeting here, adds to growing evidence that marriage has an impact on health.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Oh no she didn't!

Okay, so this afternoon, a bunch of us were all headed back to the medical school in the same car, and we got off I-35 at 20th St. Well, we didn't get too far down the exit ramp before we had to stop, because there was a line of cars already blocking the way. Wondering what could be holding traffic up, we all craned our necks to see past the multitude of bumpers ahead of us. I was sitting shotgun, so I had a relatively good vantage point, but I still couldn't quite make out what was going on down the ramp. A couple people who were in the car suggested an accident might have just occurred, which seemed like a reasonable explanation to me, until I saw the tiny figures of two people who were far away momentarily come into my line of sight. It looked like Person A was grabbing Person B, but quick-as-a-flash, they were hidden behind the line of cars once again. Hmmm... this raised speculation in the car: what was going on? was there a fight? what might possibly be happening down there? It looked like there was at least one girl involved. The two individuals popped into view once more; yep, it definitely looked like there might be some sort of altercation going on. Christine volunteered to get out of the car to get a better look. But before she could, traffic had started to inch forward. It appeared like the two combatants had settled their differences (or at least had gone their separate ways). At any rate, they were no longer in sight. The car was put into gear, and we rolled slowly down the ramp. As we approached the scene of all of this hullabaloo, a curious thing came into sight. No, it couldn't be... we said. Well, what do you know? It is! Lying on the roadway was a woman's hair weave, fully intact (aside from missing the head it belonged to). Horrible as this experience must have been for those directly involved, we couldn't help but bust out laughing at its out-of-place presence on the street. So yeah, I'm not exactly sure what the moral of this story is, but I guess there's always the old saying: hair today, gone tomorrow.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Steve, Don't Eat It!

I think we should create a new game - Mr. Keith, don't eat it! Until then, I guess we'll leave it up to Steve....

Tim Russert Moves It Along


WONKETTE - Tim Russert, at the Capitol to raise awareness about deep-vein thrombosis and honor the late reporter David Bloom. It's been suggested that he's doing the Official Deep-Vein Thrombosis Awareness Dance, but we think it looks a like he's moving to cover his ears from something Hillary brayed. "I'm definitely not running in 08," maybe?

Friday, March 04, 2005

What Happens If You're Not Martha Stewart

CLYDE HABERMAN, NY TIMES - As someone who has done time himself, Marc La Cloche is happy for Martha Stewart. She has managed to turn life in federal prison into a nifty career move. Her company's stock is soaring, and she has plans for not one but two television shows. It almost makes you wonder why the Enron types are fighting so hard to stay out of jail.

Brava Martha, Mr. La Cloche says. He only wishes that New York State would let him put his own prison experience to decent use. "I wish her the best," he said of Ms. Stewart. "But I think the best is going to come anyway because she's financially sound. She has avenues that one coming from my situation won't have.". . .

Mr. La Cloche served 11 years in New York prisons for first-degree robbery. While behind bars, he turned his life around. He learned a trade, barbering. He even had the image of a barber's clippers and comb tattooed on his right arm. In 2000, as he prepared to be freed, he applied for a required state license. He was denied it. But that decision was reversed when reviewed by a hearing officer. For a while after his release, Mr. La Cloche worked in a Midtown barber shop. That job did not last long.

New York's secretary of state, who has jurisdiction in these matters, appealed the granting of the license and won. Mr. La Cloche's "criminal history," an administrative law judge ruled, "indicates a lack of good moral character and trustworthiness required for licensure."

In plain language, the fact that Mr. La Cloche had been in prison proved that he was unworthy for the trade that the state itself taught him in prison.

Where is Joseph Heller when we need him? . . .

Of course, Mr. La Cloche can always look on the bright side. Unable as he is to ply his trade, he will have more time now to catch Martha Stewart on television.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

What Dog Breed Are You?

On the lower right-hand side of this website, click where it says "What Dog Are You?" A TV screen will pop up, hit start, and answer 10 questions. Click on "next question" after each one. After the last one, you'll get your results. There's even a neat little film on the TV screen showing whatever breed of dog you are! Have fun!

BTW, I'm a Sloughi.

Inverse Law of Usenet Bandwidth

"The more interesting your life becomes, the less you post... and vice versa." ~ Jorn Barger

How to Argue Like a Conservative

courtesy Billy.